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7/13/06

Diving into the Ocean of Grace

In 1992, when I legally changed my last name, I also added a middle name, amending my parents’ decision to give me only a first one. I chose a quality I wanted more of in my life, a quality that spoke to me of ease of movement through this corporeal plane, and of a connection with the Divine that would help my heart blossom into a depth of love that I had faith was right there, although I didn’t feel it often. I chose the name Grace.

My yoga teacher training was in the discipline of Anusara yoga. The name is Sanskrit for “flowing with grace”. To help us step into that flow, we are invited to continually soften in heart and mind, in gaze and attitude, so that when grace occurs, we are not hindered from folding into it.

Grace is the essence that infuses all of life with its desire to participate fully and joyfully in all that comes our way, to be present and accounted for, knowing that there is no separation between us and everything around us.

Grace is our connection to the ebb and flow in and around us. It is our ease with chaos, our ability to remain present with the complements of and shifts between growth and decay, movement and stillness, light and dark. Grace is the insight, at a cellular and a heart level, that there is a baseline flow that never stops, and that always holds us, regardless of how much we waver in our belief in, understanding, or appreciation of that baseline.

Sometimes it seems that much of opening to grace has to do with simply getting out of my own way. Stepping away from the story-line of whatever’s going on, and returning to the simplicity and directness of the breath going in, going out, until I reconnect with the Breath that is breathing me. It’s about re-establishing my heart as my center, entering into that place with gentleness and acceptance, and letting it fill my whole being. Clearing out the detritus to find the empty stillness where I can rest and just be.

To open to grace, we have to be open to it. Grace cannot be forced, cannot be willed to materialize. It is not under our control. The only way to plan for it is by being attuned to it so that we notice it when it happens, rather than being distracted elsewhere and missing it entirely. There is an element of faith, even of underlying certainty, to the process: grace will occur, if I make room for it, if I am willing to feel it. However, I must release my need for it to look a certain way, and instead allow my eyes to perceive realms beyond what is routine, into what is magnificent.

Elusive, magical, amazing grace! Inherent in the flooding of grace into our beings is the prerequisite of surrender: that moment when we open our heart to something which is beyond words; that moment when we release our ideas of who we are and our attachment to where we are; that moment when we dissolve into universal energy. In that moment, we discover there is no demarcation between us and everything else.

At that point, we recognize that we humans – imperfect, not always lovable, sometimes destructive of that which we hold most dear – are included in the encompassing circle of universal splendor. This, I think, is the best grace of all: to be contained within this realm of what is fierce and exquisite, radiant and divine.

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